Playing to Prove Them Wrong
My biggest dream in life consisted of playing club volleyball. I retained a belief that the girls who did seemed so much ‘cooler’ and better at everything they participated in. It sounds cheesy but I wanted to live just like them. I thought that it would remain impossible for me to receive this chance, there seemed to be too much of a commitment involved- both time and money wise. With three daughters at home, keeping them all organized presents quite the challenge for my parents. I never gathered enough courage to actually bring it up to my parents because I knew that it was such a huge request to ask of them. However, I rejected the idea of spending another season just sitting on the Varsity bench, I wanted to make a difference and those extra hours on the court would tremendously impact that chance. I just couldn’t figure out how to lay that out for my parents. So there I remained, stuck, only dreaming of being out on the courts.
This all changed during one car ride with my dad. We were casually driving down the road to Waverly, actually for one of our regular season volleyball games, admiring all the great Nebraskan scenery. Out of the blue, my dad asks a question that more or less changed my life, “What would you think about having the chance to get in a little extra volleyball during the spring? As in playing club or something like that?” So of course I’m sitting in the passenger seat, completely stunned. Did that question really just come out of his mouth? “Of course I want to!!!” I think to myself. I try to act all cool, listening to the rest of his conversation, but quite frankly the whole thing remains a blur. So many emotions jolted through me all at once. Excitement beyond belief, nervousness, and stress all at the same time. Maybe my days on the bench would finally cease.
Time passed, and a few conversations about club volleyball popped up here and there but after that one moment, they all lead up to my dream. It was official. I would play club volleyball in the spring.
The day of tryouts came faster than I proved ready for. I expressed absolute terror. This was one of the biggest steps I would pursue in my life. I was kind of being set loose on my own to see where my own personal talents and abilities could lead me. I prepared myself immensely, I participated volleyball since fifth grade. I knew all the basic skills and components of the game. I knew where to place the ball on the net, what it takes to make a perfect pass, and how to drop an ace serve. However, all these other girls probably achieved the same skill level, if not more. I needed to prove myself, show the coaches that they should pick me.
I endured a 20 minute drive that day, enough to give myself a pep talk. I couldn’t think straight. Random thoughts jerked in and out of my head. “Will I impress them? How many years of experience did the other players posses? How would they determine teams?” I couldn’t deal with it anymore so I cranked the music to try and escape the world for at least a little bit.
We pull into the parking lot, heart racing. My dad would stay to watch the tryouts, so I saw at least one familiar face there. As if walking for the first time, I stumbled out of the car and headed to the building. I breathed deeply, about to start my new adventure.
So much went both right and wrong throughout the whole tryout. My mind stayed stuck on the wrong: serves too far out, hits into the next, shanked balls and miscommunication. I just needed to remain calm in the whole new environment. I was used to receiving instructions on how to complete something, but here you were just thrown into drills and expected to learn as you played. That day I persevered through one of the most exhausting days of volleyball. Even the little things seemed extremely physically demanding, bruises forming left and right, repetitive hitting lines and constant yelling left me gasping for air. The only up side I clearly remember about that day was that I moved to the ‘more advanced’ side. The drills on that side seemed quicker and more intense than those on the other court. That made me feel a little bit better about my chances, now I obtained something to look forward too. As the excitement of the day dwindled, the long wait began. The coaches and staff needed a week to decide teams.
Many ideas came to my attention that day of tryouts, I can’t just expect everything to always entertain the same rhythm or order. Different people will teach concepts differently and I need to adjust to that. Also, sometimes life throws me out of my comfort zone, and that’s a good thing. How will I ever see the world and learn how to figure it out for myself if I am just stuck at home all the time? I need something or someone to pull me out of my bubble and right now that’s volleyball.
Days passed as I reflected on these thoughts and eventually an email came. I made the team, Nebraska One 16 Fusion. A weight seemed to lift off my shoulders. I knew that this was only the beginning of many challenges, but from how much I already learned in so little time, I was excited to see what else would be thrown at me.